Colleen Hoover’s bestselling novel It Ends with Us captured readers’ attention with its raw portrayal of love, heartbreak, and the complexity of abusive relationships. Director Mr. Justin Baldoni brought Hoover’s impactful story to the big screen, allowing fans to witness the heart-wrenching narrative unfold in a new medium. The film came to theaters August 9, 2024, bringing attention to domestic abuse and sparking conversations about self-worth and overcoming toxic relationships.
It Ends with Us soared at the global box office, earning over $180 million. However, critics widely condemn the promotional campaigns, arguing that they diminish the gravity of the film’s major themes. In contrast to the film’s heavy tone, the promotional visuals feature vibrant colors and floral scenery to attract viewers. Critics contend that the joyful imagery undermines the movie’s portrayal of abuse, potentially sending conflicting messages to audiences, according to The New York Times.
Mrs. Blake Lively and Mr. Baldoni star as Lily Bloom and Ryle Kincaid. The film follows the story of Lily, a young woman who falls in love with Ryle, a successful neurosurgeon. While their relationship begins with passion and excitement, it quickly descends into emotional and physical abuse. As Lily struggles with her feelings for Ryle, she confronts the cycle of abuse that mirrors her mother’s experiences.
Initially, Ryle appears charming and passionate, winning Lily’s trust. As subtle indicators of manipulation emerge, his abusive behavior escalates. Their relationship demonstrates how quickly love can turn toxic, evolving from emotional outbursts and dismissive comments to physical violence. Throughout her relationship, Lily grapples with the conflict of loving Ryle while acknowledging the destructive nature of his behavior. Dr. Lisa Schwartz, Upper School Psychologist, discussed the dualities of abusive relationships, highlighting that attachments and familiarity make it difficult for victims to leave.
“Love and abuse always coexist in an abusive relationship,” Dr. Schwartz said. “If someone finds themselves in an abusive relationship, they usually have a connection to [that] person [in a] meaningful way. Oftentimes, individuals confuse their attachments and familiarity with love. If an individual becomes familiar with abuse, they might continue to accept it.”
It Ends with Us reveals several warning signs of an abusive relationship, beginning with subtle emotional manipulation and controlling behaviors. Ryle’s early displays of jealousy mask his abusive tendencies through a tactic called “love bombing,” according to The New York Times. The film portrays how victims might excuse or dismiss such behaviors, emphasizing the importance of recognizing early warning signs. Dr. Schwartz explained the common indicators of abusive relationships, particularly early signs of control and manipulation, and she stressed mutual trust and respect as a foundation for healthy relationships.
“When a relationship turns abusive, it is not always the same for everyone, ” Dr. Schwartz said. “Abuse can manifest in different forms. Noticing patterns of extreme jealousy is a big factor, especially when someone constantly worries about what their partner would say or think and feels they always have to ask for permission to do anything. Individuals should never feel they have to make excuses for where they are, what they are doing, or who they are with. It is essential in relationships to have mutual trust, ensuring both partners feel like they have equal worth and value in a relationship. A relationship should be one where both partners treat each other with respect.”
The film portrays a cycle of abuse, as Lily’s relationship with Ryle mirrors the patterns she witnessed in her mother’s past. The movie contrasts Lily’s relationship with Ryle against her recollections of her mother’s abusive marriage, portraying the generational cycle of trauma. This parallel underscores how ingrained patterns of abuse distort one’s perception of love and relationships. Dr. Schwartz discussed the idea of generational trauma, highlighting its influence on an individual’s approach to relationships and how it hinders their ability to break the cycle of abuse.
“Generational trauma can influence a woman’s approach to relationships, but it does not always necessarily have to be in a negative way,” Dr. Schwartz said. “Individuals see it come out in a lot of different ways, but I think people misperceive that too. Many people believe that if someone was abused as a child that means they will be an abuser as an adult or will grow up to be abused by someone else. While that can be the case, I think it depends on the amount of intervention you receive in the intermediary. Although it’s definitely a part of it and can trickle down negatively, it can also be […] impetus for somebody to change the course of time. There is hope.”
It Ends with Us serves as a reminder of the complexity of love and abuse. The film invites viewers to examine their relationships and the societal norms that frequently remain unchallenged. As its narrative resonates with audiences, the movie emphasizes the importance of honest conversations about domestic abuse, self-worth, and the courage needed to escape toxic cycles. Through compelling storytelling, it fosters a deeper awareness of abuse and the ultimate power of hope in overcoming adversity.
Featured Image by Caitlin Leahy ’25
