Some coaches hold misconceptions about leadership, disregarding that the greatest athletes are not always the best leaders. In fact, toxic training environments can trigger a fear of failure, and when coaches spotlight just one or two team voices, they may silence other athletes with ideas that could benefit the team, according to balanceisbetter.org. Professional athlete Ms. Michelle Betos, a former soccer player and goalkeeper of Gotham Football Club (FC), spoke at Sacred Heart Greenwich and emphasized the importance of a positive and collaborative team environment through effective leadership. Junior Ellie Furman, varsity tennis player, and sophomore Addie Callaway, varsity lacrosse player, discussed how it is essential for each player, not just captains, to showcase leadership and responsibility.
Upper School students at Sacred Heart are in the middle of the spring sports season. While tennis is not a contact sport, athletes still need agility, coordination, and determination during matches. Ellie mentioned how the success of the individual, thus, helps the team.
“Being on the team for four years has taught me that leadership isn’t just about titles” Ellie said. “It’s about creating a space where everyone feels included and valued, no matter their grade or skill level. I make it a point to talk to everyone, whether they are new to the team or a senior finishing their last season. That sense of support and connection is what makes a real team.”
Ms. Betos, born in Queens, New York, is a professional athlete who played predominantly in the National Women’s Soccer League (NWSL), where she captained, trained, and played alongside Olympic gold medalists and world champions. In 2016, she won a National Women’s Soccer League Shield with the Portland Thorns FC, and in 2023, she claimed the NWSL championship with Gotham FC. Later in 2024, she retired to become a Certified Mental Performance Coach and the Assistant Goalkeeper Coach for Gotham FC.
Ms. Betos spoke at Sacred Heart, highlighting how a sports teams achieve greatness through recognizing leadership as a behavior, not a title, from one of her favorite books, The Obstacle is the Way. Ms. Betos shared how athletes should never give up, especially when it gets extremely difficult.
“The impediment to action advances action,” Ms. Betos said. “What stands in the way becomes the way. If you are not failing, you are not trying. Successful athletes shift their mental bias and force positivity from negativity, viewing everything as an opportunity, even mistakes.”
The book The Obstacle is the Way stresses the importance of a resilient mindset and teaches that rejection is redirection. Ms. Betos also mentioned that athletes should anticipate, encourage, and use failure to change a failing perspective into one of success. One way Ms. Betos does this is through daily journaling setting intentions, and reflecting on her goals. Strengthening a player’s mental toughness and improving leadership skills can also help lead teams to victory.
The Sacred Heart lacrosse team has an upcoming game against Greenwich Academy, April 23. In order to come out on top, the team will work hard during practices in preparation for the big game. For instance, they work on their speed, stick skills, and leadership. Sophomore Addie Callaway spoke about what she believes are the best qualities in a leader.
“I believe that the best leader leads by example,” Addie said. “Meaning that a teammate guides others by their actions and behaviors, rather than telling players what to do verbally, and consistently demonstrates leadership qualities in all aspects of life, both during lacrosse and in everyday situations, by inspiring, motivating, and positively influencing others.”
Featured Image by Natalia Wright ’27
